this is called "learning to feed yourself."

...otherwise known as "constant clean-up for mommy."

fun jacket

stuck in my head

"chartreuse...a color I had not seen...[contemplative pause]...it looks, to me, a lot like green!" --Blue's clues & friends

"Grab your backpack, let's go! Jump in! Vamanos!" --Dora

"it was like a ticker tape parade...." --the Decemberists

you should listen to these guys.

but to be mindful.

I have spent most of the week in a fluctuating state of irritation with my daughter. It is not really a severe irritability, but rather the quiet kind, the irritability that lurks around and then sidles up when moments become frustrating. She seems irritated with me, too, and then we stand in the kitchen looking at each other: she with tears falling down her cheeks and I with an expression of helplessness. I love her so much, but there are just those moments when I don't feel like dealing with her or cleaning up after her or talking to her. I wish I could be sent to my own time-out in a quiet corner...one where I could be left alone for just a few minutes....to process the ugliness of my attitude and to pray for patience and forgiveness. But I can't even get alone time in the toilet...those days are far away for me.

It's much harder, too, when Josh is not in my day. Huntleigh needs those moments as much as I do...it's very apparent to both of us. But tonight I tried something that I must not do very often because I was surprised at its effectiveness. Just at bathtime, alone, Hunts and I had about three moments that could have been explosive. Instead of giving in to irritability, I prayed very quickly and earnestly for patience. And I discovered that in that moment, the Lord met me precisely where I needed to be and I was able to treat H with patience and graciousness. I know that for many of my readers this thought may be very simple, but it struck a chord with me tonight in a very new and fresh way. I admittedly, have become very lazy about prayer and I see how this has begun to take a toll on me.

I know there are moms out there who must feel like I do at times and I would be grateful for words of wisdom, if you have some to share. I think it is a great encouragement to share our stories. Alyssa, Shannon, Erin, Lisa, Jd, Holly, Danielle...thank you for how your words often encourage and strengthen me as a mom.

breakfast tricks

frenemies

since i have spent A LOT of time at home in the past few days, i have had the chance to observe huntleigh's relationship with kona. it is a very fickle relationship, a love-hate relationship, really. i'm not so sure if kona sometimes loves her and sometimes hates her or if he simply just loves to hate huntleigh. huntleigh was super affectionate yesterday and spent most of the day on my lap...alongside kona. i think because she was calm, he was cool with being next to her. she would lean on him and snuggle in his belly and then she would pull a chunk of fur from his body, somewhere. then kona would jump out of my lap and not come back for awhile. i don't think she intends to be mean...i think she just sees him as the ultimate stuffed animal. i mean, i would too, were i little like her. he's soft, he does funny things, he's cute, he moves around and he provides entertainment for the babe. it's the ultimate dream: that your stuffed animals would come to life and start talking and moving...something like what you heard about in the Chronicles of Narnia as you were growing up. i'm sure most of the girls reading this had--at some point in their childhood--the same dream. anyways....huntleigh loves to seek out kona and his secret hiding places: the basket where he sleeps, the top of the chairs where he perches, the corner of the livingroom where he traps heat from the vents. she reverts to crawling when she plays with him, until she needs to chase him and then she can be quick like he is. the funny thing is that he never runs very far. only just far enough, which makes me think that he likes her. i think she's growing on him. here they are at breakfast this morning.

second place

Here is what I wanted to do last night:

--have a nice dinner with josh and huntleigh
--finish a movie I had started a few days ago
--lay on the couch and be lazy
--make my favorite tea and drink as many cups as I could
--go to bed relatively early and read my magazines
--relax

Here is what I did instead:

--got throw up on me
--cleaned up round one of throw up
--watched josh get thrown up on
--cleaned up round two of throw up
--did six loads of laundry
--gave two baths to huntleigh
--cleaned up a kitchen with olive oil all over the floor
--watched huntleigh cry as she was throwing up
--cleaned up rounds 3,4,5,6, & 7 of throw up
--slept on huntleigh's bedroom floor

I am not writing all of this to complain, but rather to process further the fact that I have taken a back seat to my sweet, needy baby who gives me more grief and more joy than I could have ever imagined. No more numero uno for sarah hager. But after all the barf and laundry and clean-up, I got to sing "Jesus I Am Resting" to Huntleigh and she fell asleep in my arms. I would trade first place any time for a moment like that with my daughter.

And today, we are happy and healthy...so far, at least.

good friends.

this was all of us minus two sleeping babies: lyndon and katelyn.

crazy cabin family

the kiddos

Hunts, Karsten and Lyndon. This was right after Jessi found Huntleigh sitting on Lyndon....and he never even cried about it.


The Hunts and Bennett.




Davis.

boys will be boys

Josh is now 30. For his birthday this year, I surprised him and invited his closest friends and their families to Raccoon Ranch for the weekend. There were 18 of us all together and in spite of the kid chaos, we still managed to have fun times and intentional conversation. No sleep+caffeine+guns=good times. These are Josh's closest friends from college: Kurt, Scott, Drew and Anthony (L to R). Thanks for hauling your families into town, you guys. We love you and are so thankful for your friendships!

snuggly bath baby

sweet feet.

drivin' and cryin'

scott and abby got hunts this sweet hat for Christmas and she is so stinking irresistible in it. apparently, style wasn't enough to keep her from crying on our walk today.

helping?

hunts wanted to help daddy take the lights off the christmas tree. not so helpful, but so cute.

memories from our merry christmas

present time!


what is it?


OH!


how fun!

my merry christmas motorcar