Dear someone out there who really loves me,
I really love these boots. Didn't I tell you how gorgeous they were?! I mean, how could you resist NOT buying them? Oh damned expensive catalogue! Why did I ever even open you up just to take a quick peek? I hate that you even came to my mailbox and caused me to covet. It's all your fault. Seriously, though, if you really love me (whoever you are) wouldn't you buy these for me? Just think how cute my swollen pregnant feet would look in them in about 3 1/2 months? And then for a lifetime thereafter? Just chew on it and let me know.
Love,
a dramatic 30-year old.
