Saturday, January 05, 2008
Today did not go how I would have loved for Josh's birthday to be. To begin with, I wish I was not 39 weeks pregnant. I wouldn't have used the afternoon to go to the grocery store with my husband and child. I wouldn't have done laundry. The day would not have had all the ups and downs that it did. I would not have cried or gotten mad or frustrated as much as I did. No, if I could have scripted it from start to finish, it would have been a much more calm, emotionally low-key day filled with a big fat home-cooked breakfast and perhaps some Asian food for dinner and then ended with a fun party with excellent wine and beer.
The second half of our day was much better than the first half. We went to see a movie and then tried this little neighborhood Italian tapas bar in Dogtown for dinner (sans child...except for the one in my belly). Let's just say this has been a really hard week for us. Josh put it into perspective for me when he said that it's like we're running a marathon together (the marathon being this pregnancy) and someone on the sidelines (someone we love so very much) fell down in our pathway and instead of being able to run around them, we tripped over them and skinned our knees and were hurt fairly badly. The difficult part has been pulling ourselves back up and continuing to finish the race as teammates, as injured as we are and as worn out as we have become. It has been no easy task. I know there are women out there who just love pregnancy, but I will have to admit that pregnancy is not like that for me. It's difficult to begin with and my skinned knees and bruised side are almost more than I have been able to bear.
The truth to which I continue to return is that Josh and I are good teammates. In fact, we're the best of teammates. I could not have imagined a better teammate to run this race alongside me. We're so close to the end of this marathon, but this 26th mile, it has been a steady, uphill battle. The fight has been tough on our bodies and on our souls.
So Josh, Happy Birthday, my friend. Thank you for being such an excellent teammate to me, even when I have not been such a good one to you. There is no one with whom I would rather run this race. I hope 31 is a good year for you.