from 4 to 5

Well, it certainly is a new year. And with this new year has come many new and wonderful changes. We had a super busy and exciting end to 2011 and we received our most favorite Christmas present, Polly, on Thursday, December 8, at 9:49 in the morning. I will never forget the sound of her cry as she entered this world. A perfectly loud and clear announcement to her parents that she was most definitely here. She is beautiful and healthy and calm. A perfect addition to our family. Sometimes I feel like it was a piece of cake (pregnancy, that is) and then I think back to the first time I took the test, saw the 2 pink lines, texted Josh while he was in China, and poured myself a huge glass of wine. From that moment, it seems as though I had been pregnant for about 2 years....as you can see here in this first photo. I was tremendously preggers here with my two kiddos. This was our last night before we became a family of five. And so we went from this...

...to this, with my six year old, holding our newborn child. I only wish my memory of this moment was as clear as the brightness of my daughters' eyes. But at least I have this picture. I love them all so much. I love them so much, my heart could explode. I am so proud that I was able to grow them and nurture them, even though I have several severe memories of barfing into various and sundry sinks & toilets throughout the city of Saint Louis (and one very vivid memory of a mermaid sink in Mexico while pregnant with Lucy). I love that I was able to feel them kick me for the first time and share my body space with them and endure the pain of carrying each of them to then bring them into this very wild world in which we live. I am thankful that I no longer have to share my body with them, but that I can share life outside the womb with them. They have ripped my heart wide open and they have filled my cup to the point of eternally running over. They are my greatest responsibility and challenge as well as my greatest joy and have changed my life for forever....and I wouldn't change any bit of it.


And so here we are, on the day we were discharged from the hospital, holding Polly between us and shamelessly taking our self-portrait to commemorate the special moment as the "three of us" before we went to bring her home to our other two babes. I love this picture not for its aesthetic beauty, but for the moment it represents. I love that Josh's eyes are cut off, but I can still see the happiness creases around his left eye. I love the "P" on her shirt, reminding us that she is our brand new baby with a brand new name and a brand new personality for us to discover and learn and love. I love the tiredness in my face: a well-deserved tiredness which was the result of bringing forth a new member into our family. But most of all, I love that Polly is touching both of our faces with her sweet baby hands, connecting us three. I am so thankful for my sweet new child and our family of five.